You knew I had fucked around on almost every girl that I was ever with. I didn't mislead you. You should have known what to expect." I thought it woul... be different," she said."What made you think that?" I asked. "Had I ever shown any real remorse? Had I ever shown a sign of changing?" I was close to shouting now. "I fuck around. I like to have sex, and maybe there is something wrong with me, but I can't turn it down. I've never been able to, and you knew that better than anyone. How many times. From there the S.G. went back to the C.P., and I went to the Eden Hotel. Mama-san and her son were the only ones there. The son had gone, without a word, to get Linda. Mama-san handed me a Coke, and when I tried to pay her, she waved her hand away and smiled at me. She told me that there were 3 girls that were special to her. Linda, Nguyet, and another girl named Wann. I would meet her soon. She was out having her period. I asked how long it would take for Linda to get back. LInda had been her. Now, people who say they have experience will tell you that there's nothing essentially erotic about a nude beach. Pretty soon, they say, you forget all about being naked and it's just like being on any other beach. And as for what all us guys naturally worry about? Forget it, they say. Hardly anybody ever gets an erection on a nude beach. And if you do, you can always just go into the water or shove it into the sand and hide it. But don't worry about it. It probably won't ever happen.Those. Why had I done it? Surely, after all the years of lusting after my cute, then beautiful, then erotic neighbor, with her surrendering totally to me, surely I deserved to have that prize? I wept at my disappointment in myself. I cried because there was no way I would ever forgive myself.And I wailed as I thought about the fact that banshee…Rachel, would never forgive me for what I had done.I’m not ashamed to admit it, what is shame after you have lost everything you ever wanted? I cried myself to.
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