"I basically had three choices. Abort the pregnancy, have the baby and give it up for adoption, or have the baby and keep it. I'm a nurse and we try t... save lives. I decided against abortion. That made it between giving it up for adoption or keeping it. I must have changed my mind a hundred times while I was pregnant with Sara. About the seventh month I told my parents I was going to keep the baby. She - I knew it was a girl by then - was my daughter. No matter who the son-of a-bitch was that. " I was in complete and utter torment. I was revolted by what she was doing to me, and yet the pleasure of her caress was undeniable. If I'd had my wits about me I would probably have been able to break free, but every time I tried to gather my strength, the music would fill my head and drain it completely away. "There's no point in resisting me," she whispered as she nibbled on my ear lobe. "The CD we're listening to has a subliminal carrier that you'll never be able to resist. But I know. "You understand that the same measures apply as in the hotel," he said coldly—urbane had pretty well gone out the window by now. "Any effort by you to enlist this guard's help will be met with the same outcome as there. Remember that there are three of us." I know," I said, my heart sinking a little further. My nerves were seriously on edge, and the closer we got the more sure I was that I wasn't going to make it through the next fifteen minutes. But to have any chance at all I needed to keep. Much like a small dog or child who will act out in a contrary way to normal expectations of decency or tact, if the corrective behavior is delayed, the association with the act being addressed will begin to lose the correlating connection, and the association of punishment to the crime becomes muddied and in the worst case lost. Wherein, then it stands that the punishment, to the recipient of it at least, stands solely to serve itself. This situation where pain becomes the conduit thru which.
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