I stood there in the doorway to my bedroom for a moment, knowing fullwell that once I walked out of the room, there wasn't going to be anydoubt at all...that I liked to dress as a girl, but then again, therewasn't much, if any, doubt right then anyway. I heard mom say "okay", andtook my first, tenuous, and very scary step. Walking as quietly as Icould, I stepped into the family room, saw mom look up, and froze inplace. Every emotion I owned was pounding away at me. Run, hide, anddeny, foremost,. She looked totally defeated but finally said, “I know…but I have no real options. ANYTHING you could do to help me out would be greatly appreciated. I need any help you can give me”. As we finished dinner, I finally gave her a proposal. I told her that I would get us a nice room and she would have a very nice place to sleep that night. She would be able to take a nice warm shower or bath to get cleaned up. I also told her that I would give her some money. When she asked, “How much?” , I said,. Will I ever bring myself to close the final gap? All the work she had done in therapy with Anne built up to the false impression that she was healed. Instead, Sunday demonstrated just how damaged she still was. Not only had she panicked, she knew she must have come across as a hot-and-cold freak, or a tease, or… she didn’t even want to think any more about the possible impressions she had left John with. She knew what she needed to do, even though she hated it: she needed to explain her. .. met her double... that is good news..." Kerrdia's voicetrailed off and Owain noticed that her eyes seemed to glaze slightly,as if she were viewing something different than what was before her.Then he saw her eyes and features snap back to the present, hyper-focused and determined."No one other than Lucia must know of this. I will tell only Amon. Thisis critical, Owain, INVOLVE NO OTHERS!" Yes ma'am!"She nodded, satisfied, "And, between now and the council meeting, youand I must gather every.
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