For about four to five years I didn’t really communicate with my friend, but in 1981 my youngest son mentioned an interest in spending time with the...son of my friend. My wife, who now knew all about my affair, thought it would be okay to meet on neutral grounds to pick up their son and bring him back to Iowa for a visit. So, we met at a Six-Flags north of Chicago. We had a great time and it was almost like old times, but the strain of the past was still there. My feelings were running rampant,. I slid the glistening orange ice in and out of her mouth a few times while she devoured it.When she had eaten it all and licked the stick clean I tossed it aside and picked up the other half of the popsicle, already melted somewhat despite having been left in the shade. I took a few slurps to refresh myself then held it up in front of her as I had the first one. But instead of bringing it to her lips I lowered it slowly, watching her head tilt down as she followed it with her eyes. When I. Still, it was a good reminder to be careful. I wasso vulnerable dressed this way, and I shuddered at the thought of beingpreyed upon by some sicko....Back outside, I indulged myself with a cigarette as I window-shoppeddown Michigan Avenue, stealing glances at the smartly dressed women whopassed me by, and at my reflection in the storefront windows. One thingI loved about Chicago was the self-confidence of its women, and I feltright at home as I joined them on the sidewalk. My skirt and. And I’m free too. Free from the pain, the lies, the suffering, the broken promises… free from the thoughts that my dad doesn’t love me. He surely did. The beast was bigger than him. ‘Let your tears come. Let them water your soul.’ ~Eileen Mayhew The week between his death and his funeral was hard. I cried. Each time I cried, another sliver of my heart replaced itself. I was healing from the inside out. The day my mother and I went to do his hair, I was appalled at his appearance. He’d gotten.
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