I felt my headspinning and had a stomach full of butterflies although I waspretty sure that I didn't have them for lunch just now. Is hetrying to flir... with me? I didn't wish to know. I couldn't lookat his eyes because, all of a sudden, they looked so mesmerizingand I knew I wouldn't be able to tear my eyes away from them.The crowd was cheering, but it was quiet to me as if someonepressed the mute button on a television remote control. In myeyes, all I could see was his image, holding the. And of course there was the mandatory diggingequipment and dump trucks. However my attention was mostly drawn to thetents at the bottom, which I could barely make out in the darkness.That was obviously where they were heading. Of course the flashlights Isaw down there might have given me a clue too.I quickly scrambled down the path to the bottom of the crater, then ranto the cluster of tents. Then I listened intently, hearing voicestalking a little distance away. A faint smile formed on my. Barbara produced a several articles of black leather. She and Carol placed awide leather bracelet around each of my wrists and buckled them in place. Iasked what they were for. "They're mainly symbolic," Barbara said. Leatherbracelets were also buckled around each ankle. I was beginning to wonderwhat the symbology was supposed to represent. A leather collar was placedaround my neck and buckled. Barbara then produced a wide piece of leather,which, like the other pieces, had several metal rings. I’m not sure if you can understand what it feels like not to be able to live and love fully, when you’ve been living and loving to your heart’s content all your life. A rather large part of you is suddenly gone. At work and with my friends I was still happy, but there were times when I was alone when everything seemed less shiny, less colorful somehow. It’s as close to a depression I had ever come in my life. I shook it off kind of quickly, and the only lasting result of my temporary blues was.
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