..several times. Then we were at a nudist resort in Caribbean I had a it to drink and we smoked a lot of herb and I was around naked black men for the...first time in person. Simply said I was turned on by them and they seemed to be attracted to me. A couple of guys in particular paid me a lot of attention - a little "innocent" touching, lots of eye contact, well I was buzzed and red eyed lol even a few whispered compliments and suggestions of what we could do together. And I responded like a. “What is this, mom? What does ‘adoption’ have to do with me? Was I adopted before, but … wait my name was left for a signature at the end …”“What did you just call me, Helen? What word did you use?”“Mom? You mean when I called you ‘mom’? But, I’ve done that before and you said it was okay.”“It is, it is more than ‘okay’. It is wonderful. It is what I want. Helen, like I said, I have been working on this for a while and these papers mean it can happen.”“What? Tell me so I don’t have to guess and. Being entertained by me. By my terror.Flash after flash.Image after image.In my mind, I can see a man grinning at me, watching my frail form tremble in confusion. But when I open my eyes the only thing that greets me is empty darkness. I sort of feel like my own thoughts are fabricating the images though, due to being able to see myself in them as if through someone else’s eyes. Is this my mind trying to fill in the missing pieces that it can’t see? Trying to rationalize what is happening so. We had a great time catching up on family, career, Bangalore, etc.Soon I wanted to relieve myself and I excused to the washroom. Until then I never had any thought of having sex. Only when I entered into the loo I got sexcited. For I saw her black bra hanging in the towel rod. After quickly relieving myself, I took her bra and sniffed it hard. The onrush of sexcitement is something to be experienced to believe. Then sexy thoughts took hold in mind – try to have fun with her but was scared to.
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