" You let me be the judge of that. You don't look like an axe murderer."I smiled and looked down at my cup as I started, "John, I like you a lotand I ...ant to continue this relationship but I feel I have to be honestwith you. I am not what I appear to be, under this make-up and thesefeminine clothes I am a man. Or at least I use to be a man."I looked up expecting to see shock or revulsion in his eyes. Instead hereached across the table and took my hand in both of his.I could see that Lori was. She loved him, but she hated pixies and fly rods and those fucking feathers that littered her kitchen table all summer so that he could be the all-mighty fisherman. After all, he had patiently explained time after time, REAL fishermen tied their own flies. REAL fisherman knew what the fish really wanted better than any mass-production factory.She hated fish.However, as much as she hated fish, she loved her husband. She'd entertained passing thoughts of illicit summer affairs and hot, passionate. Usha said she was tired and hungry. And I said –Me: Then let’s eat something.We began one more round of sex. But Usha resisted and said she reimagined the forest area situation and was scared. To calm her down, I pulled her toward me and hugged her in my arms. I planted a kiss on her cheeks and placed all the eateries beside us. Usha was still thinking deeply. So, to divert the topic, I appreciated her driving skills.Usha said: Baby, there are a lot of eateries inside the bag. Can you bring. I loved her more for it, for what she’d suffered and what she’d given up. I wouldn’t have known her, if he’d lived, but I wished it, in spite of that. I would give her up if I could have, if I could have saved him and saved their love and kept her from being hurt. I loved her that much.When she stopped crying I started, and didn’t stop for an hour. She held me like I was a child and giggled softly at me. Finally we talked some more. I tried to explain to her how life was like that, how I feared.
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